Because Of You, I Am Afraid
by RosesandThorns666
Summary: AU. Sam is struggling to cope with his anger, and his girlfriend is on the receiving end most of the time. Soon, Sam starts to get violent, and when his lover turns to his older brother, it gets even worse. Please R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **AU. Sam is struggling to cope with his anger, and his girlfriend is on the receiving end most of the time. Soon, Sam starts to get violent, and when his lover turns to his older brother, it gets even worse. Please R&R!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Supernatural _or its characters. I only own my Lily Nolan.

**A/N: **Okay, my first Sam/OC and it's an abusive!Sam fic. I feel kinda bad, but I think Sam would be the type to have anger management issues, so here we are.

Hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll put warnings up if there's going to be any violence or abuse in a chapter.

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Because Of You, I Am Afraid**

**-One- **

Lily Nolan finished her third assignment of the term, sighing with relief and turning off her laptop. She brushed a hand through her dark brown curls, her hazel eyes blinking tiredly as she rubbed them, taking a quick sip of coffee. Sam stormed into the apartment, throwing his bag onto the couch and growling, shocking Lily so much she almost dropped her laptop. He was having a mood again. He almost always had them, and Lily was constantly on the receiving end of it, which made her sad, considering the fact that Sam promised her he loved her, and people who love someone don't speak to them or treat them the way Sam did her. They were graduating this year and hoping to get married not long after.

"Sam?"

"Bad day." Sam replied, Lily getting the message and leaving him to calm himself down.

Then came the shout.

"Lily? Why haven't you washed my sweater?"

Lily bit her lip and grimaced, realising she'd forgotten it when she did the laundry that morning. God, now she'd get a mouthful, she knew that. But later on, Sam would come and say sorry and they'd probably end up making love. Same as usual.

"Sorry." She replied, Sam coming out of the room with his sweater in hand.

"'Sorry'? I gotta wear this tomorrow for the fucking football tournament, Lily!" He yelled, throwing the sweater on the floor, "Thanks a lot!"

With that, he marched into the bathroom, slamming the door as he went, leaving poor Lily standing there feeling so hurt that he'd just spoken to her that way. With a trembling lower lip, she stood and grabbed the sweater, finding her purse and heading down to the laundry room in their building, just to wash his sweater so he had it for the next day.

In the shower, Sam slammed his fist against the wall, muttering to himself about what a stupid fucking bitch Lily was to have forgotten his sweater. He'd asked her to that morning too. How the fuck could she have forgotten it when he'd only told her that morning? But then, the anger began to subside as the hot water cascaded over his body, and the guilt began to creep under his skin and it filled his body, making him remember that he shouldn't have spoken to Lily like that at all. She'd used her day off that week to clean the apartment and she'd just forgotten the sweater by accident that was all. It wasn't like she'd left it out of the wash on purpose.

He climbed out of the shower, looking at his reflection in the bathroom mirror after wiping the steam from it and sighing.

"Get a grip, Sam." He told himself, heading into the living space to find Lily gone.

He spotted a note on the coffee table and he went to read it, sighing as he did.

"_Just gone to wash your sweater. Be back soon. Lily. xxxx." _

Sam sighed and sat on the couch, running his fingers through his hair and looking to the clock. It was five-thirty and the January sun was beginning to set over Lawrence. Sam had decided against going to Stanford in the end, when he'd been given the opportunity because he loved Lily far too much to let her go, and she couldn't go to Stanford. His family lived here in Lawrence, Kansas, and he decided to stay by them, what with John dealing with cancer and Mary needing her children around her. His friends were all here in Lawrence too, like the Novak brothers, Castiel and Jimmy, their cousins, the Miltons, Anna, Michael, Gabriel and Lucifer, Jo Harvelle and her adopted brother, Ash, their British friends Bella Talbot and her cousin Crowley, and who could forget Chuck Shurley and his girlfriend Becky Rosen.

With another sigh, Sam got up and got a candle out of one of the kitchen counters, finding two plates and two glasses before setting the table and beginning to make dinner. He had an apology to make and some making up to do tonight.

* * *

"Sam?" Lily asked as she entered the apartment, "What's all this?"

Sam was just serving the pasta he'd prepared when she came back and she was stunned by the sight of the candle-lit table and Sam stood making dinner. She normally made the dinner since her hours weren't as long on her course as Sam's were. She was studying performing arts and drama was her favourite part. She loved it, even if it meant having to act in front of others and write tons of scripts for the group to use, she still loved it.

"I...I'm sorry," Sam breathed, "For speaking to you the way I did..."

"Sam..." Lily began, Sam cutting her off and taking her hands in his own, putting his now clean sweater on the one of the counters.

"Lily, it's not fair on you. I shouldn't treat you like that, okay? It wasn't like you purposely left that sweater." He breathed, "It was a stupid thing to get so pissed about, but I've had a hard day and it..."

"_Just tipped me over the edge."_ Lily recited in her head.

"Just tipped me over the edge." Sam said, "I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay, Sam." The young girl said, kissing her fiancé's lips gently, "I'll go put your sweater away, alright?"

"Thank you for going to get it cleaned...you didn't have to do that." He said softly, Lily just cupping his cheek.

"Shhh," She soothed, "You needed it for tomorrow, and it didn't take long to do."

With that, she smiled softly at him, wiping a tear that slid down his cheek. He always shed a tear when he felt guilty about something he'd done to her. He never wanted to hurt her, but he seemed to manage it every other day. He'd had problems with anger management in all the years that Lily had known him and been with him, but she'd made herself promise to stand by him and help him. Counselling didn't seem to be doing him much good, but it did help a little. The woman who he saw, Pamela Barnes, always taught him good techniques that seemed to calm him pretty quickly, which brought great comfort to Lily.

She headed into the bedroom and put his sweater on the wicker chair that rested near the closet, knowing that it would be the best place for it if he needed it in the morning, since he always put his clothes for the next day on that chair. Lily's always rested on top of the chest of drawers that rested closest to the bed, and sometimes Sam would sneakily swap Lily's underwear for his favourite set, which often made her laugh on a morning.

They really were a cute couple, a sweet, nice and very in love couple. But Sam's anger, and the fact that he took it out on Lily since she was the only one in close enough range to, was putting enormous strain on their relationship. Even once when they'd been sleeping together, Sam had been way too rough, and Lily had cried afterwards because he'd hurt her. There had been times when they'd made love that Lily hadn't been in the mood to, but Sam had to relieve the tension somehow, so she'd just laid there and taken it, faked it and she'd just stared at the wall as he'd climaxed. That was the way it was sometimes. She knew that they'd probably make love that night as a make up kind of thing, and if she was honest, she was in the mood tonight.

* * *

"Sam..." Lily breathed, gripping her lover's hair as he kissed his way down her stomach slowly, being as tender as he could, feeling her shiver beneath him.

Their lips met in a tender kiss, Sam moaning into it as he entered Lily's body, his chest brushing against her body which sent a jolt of pleasure coursing through him. Her long legs wound around his waist, his huge hand sliding up to cover her tiny one as he linked their fingers. Lily gripped his hand, squeezing it as they began to move slowly. Because Sam was about seven inches taller than her, his body covered hers and she felt so safe when he held her like he was now. They had to be close when they made love, like they were one another's only lifeline. Sam dipped his head to kiss her, and Lily reciprocated, opening her eyes to meet his as they moved closer to climax. He bent her legs back, beginning to move faster to get there as soon as he could because he just felt like he was going to explode at any moment.

When he came, Lily kissed him deeply, breaking it to throw her head back as her orgasm rushed through her, her breathing coming out in heavy pants as she moved her hips and rode through it, Sam resting on top of her and pressing gentle kisses to her face and neck.

"I love you..." He whispered, Lily smiling and resting her hands gently on his body, rubbing his back before sliding one hand into his hair.

"Love you too."

-TBC-

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**Hope you enjoyed! **

**Thanks for reading so far! **

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	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: **AU. Sam is struggling to cope with his anger, and his girlfriend is on the receiving end most of the time. Soon, Sam starts to get violent, and when his lover turns to his older brother, it gets even worse. Please R&R!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Supernatural _or its characters. I only own my OC.

**A/N: **I'd like to thank everyone who read, alerted, favourited and reviewed the last chapter. I was amazed by the response I got and I really hope you enjoy this chapter.

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**Because Of You, I Am Afraid**

**-Two- **

Lily sighed as she looked up at Sam who was awake and gazing back at her.

"Good morning." She whispered, Sam smiling and kissing her gently.

"Morning." He replied, sharing a deeper kiss with her as she settled in his arms again, "We'd better get up...we got class in two hours."

"Okay." Lily replied, untangling herself from Sam and getting out of bed, the sight of her bare body bathed in sunlight making her glow and glitter with hints of bronze, "You want a coffee? Toast maybe?"

Sam nodded and climbed out of bed himself, Lily winking as she saw the erection that was back between his legs.

"Morning glory?"

Sam chuckled and Lily pointed to the bed, Sam climbing back in only for her to straddle his waist and raise her hips as she kissed him deeply and lovingly.

"Oh, I set the clock forward an hour..." Lily replied, "So we could have a little sexy time this morning..."

Sam smiled.

"You're amazing." He whispered, sharing another kiss with her before reaching around her body and sliding his fingers inside her which made her moan softly in response, "That nice?"

"Mmm...yeah..." Lily replied, kissing Sam softly again before she began to rock her hips against his fingers.

In no time, she was wet enough to take him, and she lowered herself onto his erection which they both moaned quietly at. They looked at each other, sharing another deep kiss before she began to move, Sam holding onto her as she did. The morning sun drifted onto their bodies, Sam turning them over and drenching Lily in shadow as they began to move slowly, Sam thrusting deeply which earned him gorgeous moans from the girl beneath him.

What a perfect morning this had turned out to be.

* * *

"Shit, we're gonna be late!" Sam growled, slamming a fist on the steering wheel which made Lily jump, "This is your fault, y'know. If I didn't have to drive you to your stupid theatre I'd have made it on time!"

"Sam..."

"Get out of the car." Sam spat, Lily biting her lip and climbing out of the car as Sam pulled up, feeling humiliated and hurt as she did.

Sam sped off and turned around, going in the traffic free direction while Lily stood on the sidewalk with her folders and bag in hand, feeling so sad that she just sat on a bench and burst into tears.

A familiar voice broke her out of her sobs and she looked up, smiling at the familiarity of it.

"Lily?"

"Hey, Dean." She said softly, drying her eyes and smiling up at him.

"Was that Sam?" He asked, looking in the direction of the car that was speeding away, Lily nodding in response, "Please tell me he didn't just kick you out of the car..."

"No. I said I'd walk." Lily replied, Dean shaking his head.

"Don't lie to me, honey." He said, growling when Lily bowed her head, "I'll kill him. You need to get to class? I can give you a lift..."

"I just wanna go home, Dean." She whispered, "I just wanna go home and curl up in bed..."

"Is he getting worse with you?" Dean asked, Lily shaking her head as she stood up, "C'mon. I'll get you home and you can call in sick. If you wanna talk to me, I can stay for a little while..."

"You don't have to do that..." Lily replied, picking up her belongings.

"No, come on, I'm off work today, I can take you home and we'll talk about it, okay?" He said, setting off towards his beloved Chevrolet Impala with Lily in tow.

"Thank you, Dean." She said softly, Dean smiling and patting her shoulder lightly as they reached the car, "It's lucky you were in the area, huh?"

"Yeah, it was." Dean replied with a grin, the two of them getting into the car and heading towards Sam and Lily's apartment building.

It made Lily feel better just simply because she had someone she could turn to for everything. She couldn't with her own fiancé and that scared her a little. She was always terrified that she couldn't tell him things or go to him with problems because he'd just yell at her for it.

* * *

"So, you're letting him humiliate you like this every day?" Dean asked, Lily just bowing her head, "Lily, look at me."

Lily lifted her head and looked up at Dean, the older Winchester moving closer to her and wrapping an arm around her. They were in Sam and Lily's apartment, both with cups of coffee in their hands while Lily held a couple of tissues that she kept dabbing her eyes with. Dean couldn't believe what she'd been telling him about Sam's behaviour towards her.

"He hasn't got any right to treat you the way he does, sweetie." He told her, "Look at you. You're bowing your head at any mention of what he does to you, like you're ashamed of it."

"I am, okay?" Lily snapped, bursting into tears as she did, "I am ashamed of it! I'm ashamed of the fact that I can't turn to my boyfriend with anything because I'm scared of his reaction!"

"Okay," Dean soothed, "Okay. I'm sorry...Don't cry, please..."

He pulled her closer and enveloped her in a hug, rubbing her back as she cried into his shoulder. He didn't know why Sam treated Lily the way he did. It wasn't how he'd been raised, and Dean knew he'd just use his anger problems as an excuse to treat her like dirt. She didn't deserve it.

Dean would look after her, and he'd treat her as she should be treated. He was still hurting from finding out that she and his brother were together, and even though he was four years older than her, he'd always wanted to be with her. He'd wanted to be with her since he was eighteen and he'd met her in high school. She'd been a fourteen year old aspiring cheerleader with a passion for the arts and Gothic fashion, and he'd thought back then, and still thought now, that she was the most beautiful creature he'd ever laid his eyes on.

"Y'know if you ever need to get out of here or if you need any help," He began, capturing her eyes in a long gaze, "You know where I am."

Lily looked up at Dean and nodded, moving a little closer to him.

"Thank you." She whispered, "Thank you for looking after me..."

The pair were ridiculously close, breathing one another in as they looked at each other. Dean wanted to withdraw from the moment. He couldn't do this to his brother, as unhappy as he was that Sam was treating Lily this way, he still couldn't betray him that way.

He went to pull away but he found himself lost in her hazel eyes, her dark curls hanging gracefully over her shoulders as she looked up at him. Lily didn't want to hurt Sam, and she herself questioned whether to back away from the moment or not, but as she looked up at Dean she felt so desperate, so tired of Sam's mistreatment of her that she leaned even closer, Dean doing the same.

Their lips were almost touching when Sam burst through the door, a bunch of flowers in his hand and tears in his eyes. They jumped apart, Lily shedding a few more tears while Dean's eyes just told her it was going to be alright. Sam saw Dean and a small, confused smile broke out onto his face, Dean standing as he saw him while Lily wiped her eyes.

"Dean? What are you doing here?" Sam asked, Dean shrugging in response.

"Just talking with Lily." He replied, "I brought her back home. She's not been to class today. Didn't feel up to it."

Sam looked to Lily who bowed her head and wiped her eyes again, and he felt horrendously guilty for kicking her out of the car like that. He'd had no right to.

"Baby...?" He whispered, "Baby, I'm sorry..."

"_Please, don't forgive him straight away..."_ Dean thought, Lily just getting up and going to their bedroom, locking the door as she did.

"Lily?" Sam called, going to the bedroom door and knocking on it, "Lily, please..."

Dean smiled on the inside but turned to his brother, who stood looking defeated with the flowers still in his hand. Sam turned with tears in his eyes, one sliding down his cheek.

"Dude, you can't keep doing this..." Dean said, "That girl's a diamond. You can't keep treating her the way that you are. She's way too special for that and you know it."

"Dean...I try and..."

"No." Dean said, "Trying's not good enough, Sam."

Sam bowed his head and Dean moved closer to him, patting his shoulder.

"You gotta stop doing this to her, Sam." He said, "You'll lose her if you're not careful...and I know you don't want that."

"I don't." Sam replied, Dean nodding and rubbing his shoulder lightly.

"You can't yell at her, you can't call her names and you certainly can't throw her out of the car because you're a little pissed about being late..."

Sam nodded and Dean left, leaving him and Lily with a door in between them. He knocked softly and heard her crying in their room, biting his lip as more tears fell from his eyes.

"Lily...? Open the door..." He said quietly, "Please. Let me see you, baby..."

"Sam...you left me at the roadside..." Lily cried, "You humiliated and hurt me."

"I know." Sam breathed, "I know, and I'm so, so sorry..."

There was the sound of footsteps and Lily opened the door, finding her tearful fiancé on the other side, tears filling her own eyes again as she remembered Dean's offer. They'd almost kissed. She and Dean had almost kissed. She felt so guilty that she pulled Sam straight into her arms and held onto him tightly, kissing his cheek and stroking her fingers through his hair as she held him.

If things got any worse, she feared she may actually have to take Dean up on his offer.

-TBC-

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**Hope you enjoyed! **

**Thanks for the support so far! **

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	3. Chapter 3

**Summary: **AU. Sam is struggling to cope with his anger, and his girlfriend is on the receiving end most of the time. Soon, Sam starts to get violent, and when his lover turns to his older brother, it gets even worse. Please R&R!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Supernatural _or its characters. I only own my OC.

**A/N: **I would like to begin by stating that yes, this fic does portray a very different side to Sam, however, the ending that I have in mind isn't what people may be thinking. This is only chapter three and there are many chapters to go before the ending, which gives time for events to unfold and change the current situation. There is a warning of violence in this chapter, and I do hope that you enjoy it.

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**Because Of You, I Am Afraid**

**-Three- **

Sam and Lily stayed in their embrace, just holding each other while Sam cried out his guilt.

"Sam...I don't know how much more of this I can take..." Lily whispered, Sam biting his lip and holding onto her tightly.

"Don't leave me..." He sobbed, "Please..."

"I'm not going anywhere." Lily said, pulling back from the embrace and sighing as she cupped Sam's cheek, "Just promise me that you're gonna get help..."

Sam looked right into her eyes and kissed her, feeling her wiping his tears away. He nodded as he broke the kiss and held up the flowers, Lily smiling as she saw them.

"Thank you." She said quietly, taking the bouquet from Sam and going to put the flowers in some water.

"I'm so, so sorry..." He breathed, Lily nodding and sighing.

"I know."

"I don't mean it, y'know..." He told her, "I never mean to get so angry...especially not with you..."

"I know, Sam." She sniffled, going towards her lover and reaching out to him with both hands, "Come and sit..."

Sam joined her on the couch and they sat close together, Sam taking in the pain in her eyes. He hated himself for making her feel this way, for treating her like he did. He couldn't get the annoyance out of him about why Dean had felt it was okay to stick his nose in.

"So...so why'd Dean come over?" He asked, Lily shrinking back a little.

"He gave me a ride home, Sam."

"Oh, yeah, I bet he did." Sam snapped, Lily gasping in response.

She was concerned now. Did he see them almost kiss? Did he think she was having an affair?

"What are you saying?" She asked, Sam laughing bitterly.

"Oh, come on, Lil!" He spat, "I know how he feels about you! I bet you did it in his car didn't, you!"

Good God, he was so angry that Lily shot away from him over close to the front door, Sam jumping up after. Her heart thundered in her chest as she looked into his eyes, desperate for him to understand that she wasn't lying to him and she wasn't cheating on him.

"Sam, we never did anything!" She cried, screaming as he went for her.

She ran for the door, thinking only of getting out of the apartment and finally getting the door open before Sam grabbed her around the waist, covering her mouth which muffled her screams and sobs before he pulled her inside and locked the door, throwing her onto the floor.

"You tell me about making things right and treating you badly, when you're fucking my brother behind my back?" He yelled, "You fucking whore!"

"Sam, I never...!"

She was cut off by a slap to the face, trying to crawl away from Sam only for him to pin her down and start punching her even more.

"PLEASE!" She screamed, trying to curl in on herself so he couldn't hurt her anymore.

Sam turned her over and began to unfasten her jeans, grabbing her hair as he pulled them down her body reaching to unfasten himself before he suddenly realised what he was doing. He let go of her hair and her head hit the floor, her sobs cutting through the silence of their apartment as she curled up on herself. He put his bloodied knuckles to his temples and slid his hands around to cover his face, unable to believe that he'd broken his promise to her already...and he'd beaten her. He'd never meant to hit her or hurt her like that, he'd just lost control.

"Lily...?" He went to touch her but she screamed, sobbing even harder which broke his heart, "I'm sorry..."

"Go away..." Lily cried, "Leave me alone..."

"Lily?"

"_Leave me alone_..."

Sam tried to pick her up but she fought against him and started to cry again. He let her go and grabbed his jacket, rushing out of the apartment and leaving her there to cry. There was a pool of blood beneath her, small and dark from where her nose and lips were bleeding. It seemed she'd coughed some up too. She couldn't believe what Sam had just done to her, how he'd just beaten her and tried to rape her like that

She shivered as she went to stand before pulling up her jeans. Reaching into her pocket with trembling hands for her cell phone, she dialled the number of one person who she knew would help her.

* * *

"Alright..." Dean soothed as he placed ice on Lily's cuts, "Easy..."

"Dean, he really hurt me..." The young woman cried, Dean nodding.

"I know, I know." He said, reminding himself to go and kick Sam's ass for this.

God, if their parents knew what Sam was doing...

They were in Dean's apartment, and as soon as Lily had called, Dean had been right there to get her. There was no way she was staying there after Sam had...

God, it made him feel sick. The phone began to ring and Dean sighed, knowing full well who'd be on the other end of the line. Lily just curled up on the sofa so Dean decided to lead her to his spare room and let her lay down before going to answer the phone. He didn't want to be nice with Sam after this. This was unacceptable and disgusting, and it was sickening.

"_Dean! Dean, is she alright?" _

Dean sighed and bit his lip, closing the door so that Lily wouldn't hear what was being said, although if things went the way Dean suspected she'd hear everything.

"What do you think?" He asked, hearing Sam's sobs on the other end of the line, "Quit your crying, you bastard."

"_Dean, I'm so sorry...I...I don't know what happened..." _

"I do." Dean spat, "You assumed that Lily and I were having an affair, without any kind of proof. We're not together, by the way. When would Lily have time to have an affair? She's busy cleaning and cooking for you for most of the time."

"_I don't know what I was thinking..._" Sam cried, "_Please let me come and see her...please..._"

"Sam, she's terrified of you." Dean told him, "You stay away from her. Until she feels ready to speak to you, you stay the fuck away."

Sam hung up and Dean sighed, worried sick about both Lily and his brother.

That was when the knock came at the door, and horror flooded Dean's system at the thought of Sam standing on the other side of that door. He went to look through the peep hole to see who was standing there, gasping when he saw someone he didn't expect.

-TBC-

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**Only short, I know, but I hope you enjoyed! **

**Thanks for reading so far! **

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary: **AU. Sam is struggling to cope with his anger, and his girlfriend is on the receiving end most of the time. Soon, Sam starts to get violent, and when his lover turns to his older brother, it gets even worse. Please R&R!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Supernatural _or its characters. I only own my OC.

* * *

**Because Of You, I Am Afraid**

**-Four- **

Dean opened the door to his father, John stepping inside with none other than Lily's father with him. The older Winchester boy swallowed thickly, smiling at his father who pulled him into a hug, Dean shocked by the contact. It wasn't like John Winchester to be so open about his feelings towards his sons. He wasn't a cold man in any respect, but he was more into formal handshakes rather than hugs.

"Hey, Dean."

Dean hugged his father back letting him and Lily's father, Ray inside.

"Ray and I were heading out for a celebratory drink." John said, "Your mother's downstairs with Lily's mom..."

"What's going on...?" Dean asked, John smiling like an idiot at his son.

"I'm in remission..."

Dean's eyes filled with tears as he stared at his father, pulling him into an embrace and holding onto him tightly, John rubbing his son's back as he let a tear fall from his eyes.

"God..." Dean breathed as he pulled back, smiling and patting his dad's shoulder, "You're looking better already..."

The bedroom door opened and Dean's heart stopped beating, as John and Ray's did when they saw the state of Lily's face.

"Dean?" She asked, gasping and biting her lip as she laid eyes on her father, "Dad?"

"Lily, what the hell happened to you?" Ray asked, going towards his daughter and hugging her tight while John turned to Dean.

"Dean, why on earth is Lily in this state?" He asked, "Where's Sam, does he know?"

"Sam did it, Dad..." Dean said quietly, John looking at him like he'd grown a second head while Ray turned to face Dean with tears in his eyes.

"S-Sam did what?" He asked moving closer, "What did you say?"

"Sam...Sam did that to Lily...that's why she's here." Dean said, John growling and turning away from Dean.

"Oh my God..." Ray breathed, turning to his daughter, "Lily...please tell me he's not done this before..."

Lily shook her head and started to cry.

"He just...flipped..." She hiccuped, "He thought I was having an affair with Dean...'cause Dean had to take me home this morning..."

"Why?" Ray asked, Lily sobbing in response.

"'Cause Sam kicked me out of the car..." She admitted, sitting on the couch and covering her face with her hands, "He's never put his hands on me...not until today..."

"I'll kill him..." Ray growled, John agreeing to it, Dean standing in front of the door to block their path.

"Listen, being violent with him only makes you two as bad as him." He told them, the two men sighing and nodding, "Sam has to deal with his problems himself. I've promised Lily I'll take care of her, she has her friends she can stay with...and I'm sure, Ray, that you'd be happy to let her stay with you and Fiona..."

"More than happy." Ray said, looking to Dean, "Thanks for looking after her, Dean."

When the two had left, Dean started to prepare dinner, hoping and praying that his and Lily's parents wouldn't pay Sam a visit. That would be the last thing that anyone needed, and John didn't need to be getting stressed again, not after he'd just gone into remission for his cancer. Dean would have to call Sam and tell him about that later.

"Ten texts." Lily whispered, "Four voicemails. I can't deal with this, Dean."

"Listen, he's just trying to get back in your good books, okay?" Dean told her, "Just don't give into him and he'll learn his lesson."

"What if he tries something stupid?" Lily asked, "I mean...what if he tries to...?"

"Lily, he loathes himself, but not that much." Dean replied, "He hasn't got the guts to take his own life. So don't worry yourself, okay, sweetie?"

Lily nodded, smiling weakly as Dean offered her a small portion of the meal he'd cooked. He saw her turn her head away and she pushed the plate away, sighing and shaking her head.

"I'm so sorry, Dean, I just...I can't stomach it." She whispered, "I can't stomach water, let alone a plate of food. Thank you for cooking it for me, though. It was really sweet of you."

"You tired?" He asked, "You look...awful..."

And Lily didn't take offence, because she knew that Dean was right. Her face was a mess, she was pale, shaking and she felt so sick to her stomach, both from her disgust at Sam and also from the shock of what had happened that day. There was no way that she would be taking him back, not unless he could prove to her that he'd changed.

"I feel awful...I feel weak, and I feel...I feel unloved." She whispered, "Worthless...Like the trash he believes me to be."

"Sweetheart, he doesn't think you're trash." Dean said softly, "He thinks you're the most amazing thing in the world. He just lost control, and I know it's no excuse and that he needs help, but he would never ever raise a hand to you again, I know he wouldn't."

"How do you know?" Lily asked, eyes glazed with tears, "How do you know for sure?"

"He's my brother and I know him better than anyone." Dean replied, "He'll change for you, Lily, 'cause he really does love you. He'll be sat at the apartment, feeling hatred towards himself for what he's done to you, and I bet that within the next couple of days, he'll call a counsellor or someone who can help with his anger problems."

* * *

Sam sat panicking, his head cradled in his hands as he rocked back and forth on the spot. Lily had left him. She was gone out of his life, all because he couldn't keep the hands that held his head to himself.

"You stupid bastard..." He growled to himself, picking up a magazine and throwing it across the room, wanting to throw the phone but instead taking deep breaths and trying to settle himself.

He called Lily's cell phone again, knowing she was pressing the key for ignore. It didn't surprise him that she didn't want to speak to him, but he left her the fifth voicemail.

"Lily, I'm so, so sorry..." He began, crying his heart out, "I n-never meant to put my hands on you, and I know how much I hurt you...I c-can't do this without you, baby...I can't...I-I want to get help and I promise I'll go to see someone as soon as I can...I swear. I love you so much, and I-I won't ever let you down again, Lily. I promise you."

He hung up, bursting into more tears and collapsing into a heap on the sofa, just laying there crying until sleep finally overcame him. After all that he and Lily had been through together, he knew he'd screwed up majorly this time. He knew he took her for granted and he knew that he'd hurt her way beyond his own recognition.

She'd lost that spark in her eyes that she'd had from when they'd first gotten together. She'd lost that trust that had always been there. As soon as he'd stopped hitting her, he knew that he'd broken her. He'd broken his sweet, beautiful Lily, and he knew she was probably terrified of him now.

God, how that made him feel so much worse about it. He knew he'd have to work hard to gain her trust again and to have her feel safe with him. He knew that he would have to help himself more than anything, and he also knew that he would have to open up and accept responsibility for what he'd done, both to Lily and whoever he went to for help.

Maybe an anger management course would do him good. Perhaps if Lily trusted him enough, they could go on one of those breaks for couples who are trying to mend broken relationships. Maybe the two of them could work this out by starting the dating process again from the beginning and building on it from there. This was Sam's responsibility now. It was his job to begin to fix their eroding relationship and to bring it back to what it once was. Sam needed faith. He needed faith in the relationship, faith in himself and faith in the future.

The future that he'd planned for himself and Lily.

-TBC-

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**Hope you enjoyed! **

**Thanks for the support so far!  
**

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	5. Chapter 5

**Summary: **AU. Sam is struggling to cope with his anger, and his girlfriend is on the receiving end most of the time. Soon, Sam starts to get violent, and when his lover turns to his older brother, it gets even worse. Please R&R!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Supernatural _or its characters. I only own my OC.

**A/N: **So, so sorry for not updating this in a while! But don't worry, I have my ending all planned out in my head!

Hope you enjoy, and that it was worth the wait!

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**Because Of You, I Am Afraid**

**-Five- **

The dial tone seemed to go on forever.

Sam quaked nervously, trying his best not to let his fear get to him. This was about him and Lily, about their relationship and about getting her to trust him again. God, she must've been so frightened of him. He hadn't meant to get so angry, but he couldn't imagine how scared she must have been when he started to hit her. He'd even unfastened her jeans to...Well...He didn't even know what he was going to do. What if he'd raped her? Suddenly, he got a shock when someone answered the phone.

"Um...Pamela Barnes?" Sam asked, the phone shaking in his trembling hand as he began to sweat nervously, "My name's Sam Winchester...I need therapy..."

* * *

"_Lily, I'm so, so sorry...I n-never meant to put my hands on you, and I know how much I hurt you...I c-can't do this without you, baby." _Sam's voice sounded through the earpiece of Lily's phone as she listened to the last voicemail she'd received from him, _"I can't...I-I want to get help and I promise I'll go to see someone as soon as I can...I swear. I love you so much, and I-I won't ever let you down again, Lily. I promise you."_

Lily's eyes filled with tears and she hung up, biting her lip and considering whether to call him or not. She decided to leave him to his own devices and she took the coffee she'd made into Dean's room, where she found him sleeping peacefully. She stroked his head and placed the cup on the bedside table, hearing him mumble softly.

"You wake Sam up like this every morning?" He asked, Lily smiling softly despite wincing at the pain in her split lip.

"Only if I wake up first." She replied, leaning down and stroking his head again, "You want me to open the curtains?"

"Thanks, honey." He whispered, rubbing his eyes and sitting up as Lily carefully opened the curtains and fastened them to the wall, smiling as he got out of bed.

She made up his bed and even got his clothes out of the closet. He was a little shocked as to what she was doing, and as she took his laundry into the main area of the apartment to iron, she spoke softly to him.

"Your pancakes are on the table."

Dean was again confused as to why Lily was going around like a housemaid and he came to the conclusion that Sam probably had her running around after him like she actually was a housemaid.

"Lily, you didn't have to do all this." He said softly, Lily nodding in response.

"It's the least I can do after all you've done for me, Dean."

* * *

"So, Sam..." Pamela began, looking at Sam as he sat on the couch in her office, "Why do you think the anger initially comes from?"

Sam took a deep breath and clasped his hands together, biting back tears at the guilt he felt for what he did to Lily.

"Um...my father was kinda hard on me as a kid, I guess..." He began, "He'd give an order and we had to follow it without question."

"We?" Pamela asked, Sam nodding.

"Me and my older brother, Dean." He said quietly, "And, his orders came constantly. If you disobeyed an order you were considered a disappointment."

As Pamela took down her notes, she tried to empathise with Sam. She tried to get into his shoes to see if she could understand some of what had happened in his past.

"That must've been pretty tough." She said softly, "I bet it made you pretty angry."

"I didn't feel like I had any freedom." Sam whispered, "And if I ever questioned anything, it was just on a 'need to know' basis. Even the simplest of things."

"Like what?" Pamela asked, Sam sighing and rubbing his forehead.

"Washing the dishes or hanging out the laundry...Washing the car, even doing homework." He said, "My father's cancer has finally gone into remission as my brother informed me last night which I'm relieved about, but me and him...We rarely get along."

"I see." Pamela said softly, "So why is it, Sam, that your anger gets directed at Lily and no-one else?"

As those words left Pamela's lips, Sam just burst into tears. The young woman bit her lip and waited for him to calm himself.

"I guess she seems weaker than me..." He began, the shame of his words easily seen in his eyes and on his face as he flushed with guilt, "As you can probably tell, she is physically, and she's always been a little timid."

"How does the anger come out, Sam?" Pamela asked, noticing the young man was struggling to speak, "Take your time, sweetie."

"I just flip..." He whispered, "Over nothing..."

He paused, taking a deep breath as he recalled the last week, becoming more and more frantic as he went on.

"This past week, I yelled at her for not washing a sweater I needed for a football tournament at college..." He said quietly, "Then she actually went down to the laundry room in the building and washed it for me. And then...I kicked her out of the car 'cause I hate sitting in traffic...and the need to take her to the theatre where she works on her course just seemed insignificant to me...But my brother picked her up and brought her back...and he's always had feelings for her..."

"And you assumed they were together...That she was cheating on you." Pamela said, watching him nod, "What happened, Sam?"

* * *

"Sam's going to therapy." Dean told Lily, "He's had his first session."

"Oh." Lily replied, continuing to read her book.

Clearly she was really worried, and really troubled, yet something softened in her at his words. Dean licked his lips nervously, wondering what to tell her about the next part of Sam's message.

"His therapist recommends couple's counselling for you guys." He said quietly, Lily snapping her head up at the words, "But, he said to tell you not to give an answer until you're really, truly ready to. He knows he's shot his bolt with you, sweetheart."

"Once I can speak to him on the phone and meet up with him on purpose, then I'll consider it." Lily replied, "But...I'm too frightened to, Dean. I don't trust him to be left alone with me. I can handle the phone, but not a personal visit..."

"Okay." Dean said softly, "Whenever you're ready, you call him, okay?"

"My cell phone's charging...Can I use the apartment phone, please?" Lily asked, Dean nodding and smiling softly.

"Sure. I'll make you a coffee."

With that he got up, Lily picking up the phone and dialling her home number, waiting nervously for him to pick up.

"_Hello?" _

"Sam?"

"_Lily?"_

-TBC-

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**Hope you enjoyed! **

**Thanks for reading so far! **

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	6. Chapter 6

**Summary: **AU. Sam is struggling to cope with his anger, and his girlfriend is on the receiving end most of the time. Soon, Sam starts to get violent, and when his lover turns to his older brother, it gets even worse. Please R&R!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Supernatural _or its characters. I only own my OC.

**A/N: **Okay, this is my last update until 20th July, because I'm off on my three day break with a friend of mine. I'll be taking a notepad and pen though and I hope to get at least one chapter written for my return on Wednesday. Thanks for the support with this fic so far!

Hope you enjoy this chapter!

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**Because Of You, I Am Afraid**

**-Six- **

"How are you?" Lily asked, hearing a quaky sigh on the end of the line.

"_I should be asking you that." _Sam replied, _"I'm so, so sorry, Lily."_

"Not good enough, Sam." Lily said quietly, "Not this time."

"_I'm going to therapy." _Sam said softly, Lily fighting a smile on the other end of the line.

"Good." She replied, awkward silence dropping over the pair, "Dean said something about couple's therapy..."

"_Yeah, there's a place in Colorado." _Sam told her, _"Pamela Barnes, my therapist, she said that when we were both ready she'd book us in."_

"I see..." Lily replied, taking a deep breath as she braced herself for her next words, "Sam, I don't know if you and I should be a couple anymore...I...I'm frightened of you...I don't want you calling me or coming anywhere near me, okay?"

"_Lily, please don't do this." _Sam whispered, almost in tears, _"I know I hurt you, and I know you must've been so scared of me, but please...please, just give me this chance to sort myself out and deal with my problems, okay? I really, really wanna make this right, I love you, baby." _

God, how Lily wanted to believe him. How she wanted to just take him back and love him as she always had. She was just too frightened of him now and he'd treated her awfully recently. She couldn't take him back.

"I know you love me, Sam." She whispered, "I'm just too afraid of you to...I...I know you want to make this right, but after everything that's happened, you can't just say sorry and expect that to make everything alright."

"_I'm trying to turn my life around, Lily," _Sam said, _"I'm doing what I can, please trust me! I know it's asking a lot after what's happened, but I never intended to hurt you that way...Please!" _

"How many sessions do you have a week?" Lily asked, Sam revealing he had two, "Okay, I'll meet you after ten more sessions...But Dean will be with me."

"_Alright." _Sam replied, grateful that Lily was willing to at least meet him, _"Thank you. I love you." _

"I know." She said softly, barely able to say the reply, "Love you. Bye, Sam."

With that she hung up, sighing softly as the tears filled her eyes. She didn't want to feel afraid like this anymore. She didn't want to be too scared to see her own boyfriend, the man who she loved and who was supposed to love her. She wanted to go back home to her own apartment that she shared with said boyfriend and stop being a burden to Dean. She wanted to be free again, to be happy and to be happy _with _Sam, not against him. She wanted to help Sam fight this, but she couldn't. Not unless she knew for certain that she could trust him again.

She knew that it would take a lot of work, and that the couple therapy thing would be something they'd probably have to do, but she knew that Sam would do what he could to help her and himself. She prayed he would.

She didn't want to lose him but somehow she realised that maybe she'd have to leave him properly in order for some sense to enter his brain. She opened her laptop, looking at the photos of them from high school up until recently, and she found herself in tears by the end. His anger had become an issue only a few years back and he'd never once taken it out on her. Never. Was it because he saw her as weak? Because she was smaller than him and physically weaker? Is it because he knew her gentle nature made it difficult for her to stand up for herself?

Lily just didn't know.

* * *

"Have you managed to speak to Lily, Sam?" Pamela asked at the first meeting that she and Sam were having during the week.

"Yeah. She's really upset." He began, "I've definitely shot my bolt with her. Sorry won't cut it this time."

"Did you ask about the couple's therapy?" Pamela asked, earning a nod from the young man.

"She said she'd meet me after ten more sessions, so that's this and nine more, and then decide what the next move should be." He revealed, "She wants to bring my brother with her which I totally understand."

"Is Lily alright?" Pamela asked, continuing her questioning, "Is she able to carry on as normal and is she missing you? Does she still love you?"

"She said she loved me on the phone but she sounds so meek on frightened now." Sam began, bowing his head as tears filled his eyes, "All because of me."

"Listen, Sam, we're going to work on techniques to help you cope with your anger and your worrying." Pamela reassured him, "We're going to find ways to help you deal with your paranoia, okay? I'm here for you. To help you. And if you come up to the retreat in Colorado, I'll be able to help Lily too, alright?"

Sam nodded and smiled softly, he and Pamela continuing the rest of their session.

* * *

_Lily sighs as Sam runs his hands down her bare body, from her shoulders and over her breasts. Her nipples are erect as his fingers glide over them and he continues down to her waist, gripping her hips gently as he thrusts softly into her. Her hands grip the pillows before they're locking around the back of his neck as he pulls her into his lap, kissing her lovingly and holding close to him as he always likes to. _

"_I love you, Sam." She whispers, kissing his temple and keeping her hips moving against his. _

"_I love you, Lily." He replies, laying her on her back again and keeping her held close. _

_They continue to move together, slowly but surely and they reach their long awaited high that they love so much. _

Lily awoke with a soft smile on her face as she remembered the dream of the first time she made love with Sam. She really hoped and prayed that the man she loved more than anything could pull himself together and turn his life around before he lost her for good.

She prayed harder than she ever had before.

-TBC-

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**Hope you enjoyed! **

**Thanks for reading so far!**

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**


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary: **AU. Sam is struggling to cope with his anger, and his girlfriend is on the receiving end most of the time. Soon, Sam starts to get violent, and when his lover turns to his older brother, it gets even worse. Please R&R!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Supernatural _or its characters. I only own my OC.

**A/N: **Wow! It's been a month nearly since I updated this but here is chapter seven. Prepare for a shock at the end! Thanks for the support so far! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

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**Because Of You, I Am Afraid**

**-Seven- **

Lily sat in her drama class, thinking over what Sam was trying to do to help himself to gain her trust. People could see the marks on her face and she knew that they were all making judgements about Sam. Sam wasn't a bad guy in the slightest. He'd just lost it, and it had been coming for a long time. As badly as he treated her sometimes, he didn't constantly beat her, and he tried his best to make her happy. He was dealing with his problems, and Lily was incredibly grateful that he was.

She went home, deciding to call Pamela to ask whether it would be a good idea to keep in contact with Sam over the next few weeks before their meeting. Maybe the communication would help him. Dean smiled as she got through the door and was on the phone ordering take-out. She immediately went to find Pamela's number, finding it almost straight away and calling her.

"_Pamela Barnes." _

"Hi, Pamela, this is Lily Nolan, Sam Winchester's girlfriend." Lily began, "I need some advice about my contact over the next few weeks with Sam."

"_Oh, um...Could you just give me a moment to move to my office?" _She said softly, _"I'm just heading back from a break." _

"Sure." Lily replied, waiting as Pamela headed into her office.

"_Okay, what do you want to know?" _She asked, _"You understand that I can't share any confidential details with you." _

"Oh, yeah, I know that." Lily said softly, "I just want to know if over the next four weeks of sessions, I should call Sam and speak to him maybe once or twice in the week."

"_I don't see why not." _Pamela replied, _"You can keep letting him know how you feel and you can also keep an eye on his progress. That should be fine." _

"Thank you." Lily said with a smile, "I'll call him in a couple of days. Bye, Pamela."

"_Bye, Lily."_

Lily hung up the phone, looking up at Dean who smiled softly at her. He handed her a soda, sitting on the couch and wrapping an arm around her as she rested her pretty little head on his shoulder. He was happy that she was giving Sam his space and that Sam was getting help. It was long, long overdue, but he was beginning to change his life.

"Thank you." Lily whispered softly, "For everything."

"No, you don't need to thank me." Dean told her, "Sam's getting help and turning his life around, and you're getting the break you've needed for a long time. You're family, Lily. You and Sam will be fine."

The two shared a hug, Dean pressing a tender kiss to her head as they held one another. He'd been there for her for all this time and she couldn't be more grateful. He was amazing, a true friend, and a brother to her. He would be if she and Sam got married.

"I spoke to Pamela, Sam's therapist..." She said softly, "She thinks it would be a good idea for me to call Sam once or twice a week through his sessions, so I'll call him in a couple of days."

Dean nodded and she announced she was taking a shower, grabbing her sweats and heading for the bathroom. The hot water soothed her muscles and as she rubbed the shower gel onto her skin, she relaxed and felt calmer. She had faith in Sam. He was persistent with whatever he did, including his college work, and she had a lot of hope and faith that he could get help. After her shower, she put on her sweats and headed out into the main area of the apartment, Dean handing her another soda as he served up the pizza.

* * *

Lily brushed a hand through her hair as she'd finished washing the dishes and joined Dean on the sofa, bringing two coffees with her. Dean thanked her for his and watched as she sat beside him, continuing to work on her assignment.

"You know, Sam is so lucky to have you." Dean told her, "You're being awesome, Lily. A lot of people would've left their partners because of this but you've stayed by Sam. You're a good person. Don't ever forget that."

"Thank you." Lily whispered, smiling softly at Dean and patting his back, "You're a good brother to him. He loves the bones of you."

"And I know he loves the bones of you." Dean replied, "He knows he's gone too far. He's desperate to make things okay between you guys."

"I know." Lily said softly, "I know."

She'd lost trust in him though. She'd trusted him to never hurt her, to love her and look after her always. But he belittled her, yelled at her, unleashed his anger out on her and he'd even beat her. Unintentionally of course. She wondered where he was at that moment and what he was doing. She also wondered how his sessions with Pamela were going too.

* * *

Sam and his friend Ruby sat on the floor, completing their assignment for the term. They'd always had a close friendship, which Lily had never begrudged Sam, but sometimes she got a little suspicious about Ruby's motives. But Ruby was a good girl really. She was helping Sam with part of their studies and she'd been there through the tough times.

"I think that the therapy is her way of controlling you." Ruby said softly, "She can't stand it when you have a go at her for not doing something she should have. Maybe she wants to rule over you instead."

Sam huffed out a laugh and shook his head.

"You know that's not right." He told her, "I shouldn't have behaved the way I have towards her. It wasn't right."

"Sam..."

"Ruby, no."

Sam and Ruby stared at each other, and Sam registered the look in her eyes. It was like an animal waiting to catch its prey and before her knew what was happening she was crawling over to him. Panic ran through him, at the thought of what was about to happen, at the thoughts of betraying Lily, at the thought of her with Dean.

Ruby kissed him and all thought was abandoned as he pulled her into his lap...

-TBC-

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**Hope you enjoyed! **

**Thanks for reading so far! **

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**


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary: **AU. Sam is struggling to cope with his anger, and his girlfriend is on the receiving end most of the time. Soon, Sam starts to get violent, and when his lover turns to his older brother, it gets even worse. Please R&R!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Supernatural _or its characters. I only own my OC.

**A/N: **I hope you enjoy this update! I'm trying my best to fulfil my schedule but things keep getting in the way! It's annoying me so badly. I've missed two fics today which I'll try and do when possible. This update has a shocker of a twist. Hope you like!

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**Because Of You, I Am Afraid**

**-Eight- **

_Oh, God...Oh, God...Oh, fucking God! _

Sam lay next to Ruby, who was sleeping soundly beside him, one hand on his forehead as he stared at the ceiling. He was so worried about what he'd just done, he felt sick to his stomach. He'd cheated on the girl he was desperately trying to get back. How stupid was he for doing that? They'd not even worn anything...Oh, fuck, no! What if Ruby was pregnant? He wanted to just call Lily and tell her, confess to what he'd just done. But he couldn't bring himself to. He'd hurt her enough.

He had a session with Pamela the next day and he knew he'd have to tell her the truth about what he'd just done with Ruby. As if he hadn't fucked up enough.

"What am I gonna do?" He whispered, scrubbing his hands over his face.

* * *

Dean stroked Lily's hair gently as she settled against the pillows of his bed, dabbing her head gently as her fever coursed through her slowly and painfully. He was questioning calling Sam but she'd said no, although she told him that if necessary, he could call Sam.

"Shhh..." He whispered gently as she mumbled uncomfortably while he dabbed her head again.

This fever had come on rather suddenly over a couple of days, and a few times Dean had questioned calling a doctor or going to the hospital with her. Her parents were coming over and he was seriously thinking about calling Sam. Dean reckoned it was her separation with Sam that had been the cause of her becoming ill, and she hadn't been herself since Sam had viciously beaten her. The stress of everything was probably taking it's toll in the form of flu and fever, but Dean was going to do his best to behave as an older brother and take care of her properly.

The knocking at the door alerted him and he ran to it to answer it. Ray and Fiona stood on the other side, both looking incredibly concerned as Dean showed them in.

"She's in my room." He told them, "You know how sickness affects her better than me..."

The two headed to the bedroom and Fiona rushed to Lily's side, touching her daughter's head and gasping at the temperature of it.

"Dean, I need that wash cloth," She began, indicating the cloth in his hand, "You need to tell Sam what state she's in. I think it's only right that he knows...no matter what he's done to her."

She looked to her husband and sighed, looking between him and Dean.

"I think it would be best if we call a doctor."

Dean nodded and grabbed his coat and keys, heading straight out to Lily and Sam's apartment. He didn't particularly want Sam within an inch of Lily, and her parents probably didn't either, but given how ill she was, her parents quite rightly said that Sam had the right to know. He was there within minutes, banging on the door and begging to be let in. Had he known what his brother had done with Ruby at that point he would've turned his back and left, but since he was totally oblivious to Sam's cheating, he decided to do the decent thing and tell his brother what was happening.

Sam didn't take the news well at all, and after Dean what he did to calm Sam down without him having a panic attack, the elder brother drove the younger one to his apartment. And Sam was met by Ray grabbing him and hurling him into the wall, Dean had to restrain Lily's father and shut him out of the room while they set the fan off, and all Sam was met with from Fiona was pained, disappointed eyes.

"You beat my daughter, Sam Winchester." She sighed, "That's unforgivable. I can't believe that you, of all people, would do that to her."

"Fiona, I'm so sorry..." Sam began, "I lost control of my anger, it's all my fault and I'm doing what I can to make it right. Please, believe me..."

"Sam?"

Sam looked towards the bed, as everyone else did, his eyes meeting Lily's and filling with tears. She looked so ill, more ill than he'd ever seen her and his instinct was to go and lay beside her where she needed him to be.

"I'm right here, Lily." He whispered, "You're gonna be okay...Right?"

Lily turned her face towards his and he kissed her forehead tenderly, hearing her whimper in discomfort as her mother dabbed her head. The doctor came quickly and examined Lily, stabilising her temperature the best he could before informing her parents and the brothers on how to keep her at a consistent, normal temperature. Fiona and Ray left while Dean stayed and kept a watchful eye on Sam. The angry boy seemed to have gone and was replaced by a much softer, more tentative one. He continued to dab Lily's forehead and he pressed kisses to her hair, he told her stories and let her rest when she needed to.

Dean actually believed that perhaps Sam had changed, and that maybe his therapy really was helping him. He encouraged him to continue and as he spent time with Lily, he encouraged her to go with Sam to the couple's counselling. The only problem Dean had with the situation was that he fell more in love with Lily the longer that she was in his care, and a few times Dean knew he'd overstepped the mark, like he'd kissed her head too much or he'd kissed her lips once when she was sleeping.

He needed to get control over himself for Lily's and Sam's sakes.

* * *

"We need to talk." Ruby said at college the following week, "It's urgent, Sam."

"What do you want?" Sam spat, earning tearful eyes from Ruby.

She looked frightened and pale, and as she gazed up at him she couldn't stop her tears from falling. She grabbed his hand and put it to her stomach, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I'm pregnant, Sam..."

Horror flooded Sam's system. He blinked slowly, feeling slight faintness cross over him for a moment as he took in Ruby's words. He'd gotten her pregnant? No, no, no...This was too much...On top of everything else, this was too much.

"I don't want to abort it either." She told him, "You have to tell Lily the truth..."

-TBC-

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**DUH DUH DUHHHHHH! **

**Hope you enjoyed! **

**Thanks for reading so far! **

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